


Humming Along

by AnonEhouse



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Animal Transgene, Gen, Hummingbird - Freeform, Transgenic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2017-11-22 00:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony's not entirely human. No, really, this isn't necessarily an Alternate Universe. Follow Pepper as she finds out the truth about her glittery, manic, flitting boss.</p><p>(The prompt is in the end note- it's a bit of a spoiler.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

With Obi gone, Pepper was the only one left who knew the truth about Tony. She wouldn't even have been sure he knew if at her job interview Obi hadn't advised her to dye her hair red so that Tony would take her seriously. That hadn't made much sense to her, but the possibility of landing the job certainly seemed worth it- easy enough to go back to blonde later. Whether the hair color had anything to do with it or not, she wasn't sure, but Tony did give her opinions more weight than most people's- far more than he did to S.I.'s board, certainly.

Then Tony made a vulgar pass at her soon after she began working as his P.A. She was considering her alternatives (she was furious, and Tony's defense that he couldn't help himself because of the way she looked made her even angrier; honestly, she had on a downright _demure_ green skirt set over a white silk blouse) when Obi heard the commotion and came into the room. Tony was flitting around her, talking a mile a minute, waving his hands and making her wonder if he was going to stroke out and save her the bother of filing a sexual harassment charge against him when Obi came in, took off his own brown jacket and draped it around her shoulders. She was even more insulted by that, but the instant the coat landed on her, Tony shut up and backed away. He really looked freaked out. He mumbled something that might have been an apology, and fled. 

She decided Tony wasn't a sex-maniac, he was just a maniac. She'd heard rumors he wasn't 'all there', but dismissed them as the assumption people made that genius was only a step away from insanity, and Tony was definitely a genius. Pepper was highly intelligent, and she had a hard time following him when he was thinking aloud.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Stane, but I don't think I can continue to work as Mr. Stark's personal assistant."

"Eh, don't be hasty." Obi sighed. "Tony's... _special_ , but he really likes you, and you're doing a great job keeping him focused, not flying off on a million tangents."

"I think Mr. Stark needs someone with an entirely different skill set than mine." She looked at Obi's jacket. "What's this all about?"

"He's... it's a thing with colors. Wear anything other than green and I promise he won't get out of hand like that again." Obi posed dramatically. "My hand to God, Tony is harmless. He just needs a little discipline."

Pepper raised her eyebrows. "I certainly didn't sign on for _that_!"

Obi chuckled. "No, of course not. Tony... he's like a child, in many ways. No impulse control, but no meanness, either. A red-headed woman in a green dress... it just... it's one of his little _quirks_."

Pepper should have said no. And really, Obi's generous, no argument, 'I'll write you a check right this moment' settlement for the harassment wasn't the reason she overruled her common sense and stayed. It was the look on Tony's face. He really needed help, and Obi obviously liked the situation the way it was, with Tony dependent on him running interference with the board, and guiding the direction of the company, while Tony globe-trotted, fooled around, and occasionally had fits of manic energy brilliance. 

So she stayed, and didn't wear green, and after a few days of Tony looking as if a sharp word would chase him away, they settled into a routine. Tony would dance around at high speed getting into trouble, flirting constantly and taking to bed as many willing women as he could find, then go down to his workshop and potter about until he suddenly ran out of energy. The first time she found him passed out on the garage floor with a bottle just beyond his outstretched hand, she thought he was drunk, but she didn't smell alcohol, and the bottle was an unopened Sunkist Orange soda. He woke up when she shook his shoulder, and seemed disoriented, but kept trying feebly to get to the soda. She snatched up the bottle, opened it and helped him to drink, suddenly worried that he was actually ill. She asked the first thing that came to her mind, "Mr. Stark. Tony! Do you have hypoglycemia?" He didn't answer her, just finished the bottle and dropped it before trying weakly to get up and head for the refrigerator. "Wait! I'll get more." 

Halfway through the fourth soda, he paused. "Sorry about that, Potts." He gave her a fair facsimile of his usual grin. "I forgot I'd locked down Dummy until I could find the glitch... you know where he rolls around in circles every time the air conditioning cycles on?"

"So?" Tony looked normal, but that explanation lacked a great deal of relevance.

"Dummy's programmed to bring me a smoothie every two hours." Tony shrugged. "When I'm working I forget."

"Have you seen a doctor? This isn't normal, Mr. Stark." Sometimes he needed the most obvious things pointed out to him.

Tony pushed to his feet. "Stark men are made of iron." He smirked. "That was my dad's motto. But no, really, I'm perfectly healthy, I just need a lot of calories." He shrugged. "Weird metabolism, dad got it checked out when I was a baby." He gulped down the last of the soda and tossed it into the nearest trash basket. "That will be all, Ms. Potts."

And as far as Tony was concerned, that was all. He refused to go to a doctor, he refused to have his blood tested, he refused to talk about it. He wouldn't even tell her what the results had been of the tests done when he was an infant. He was infuriating! But despite everything, she was actually embarrassingly fond of him, so she accepted the fact that if she didn't look after him, no one would.

It wasn't as if she had a life outside of her job anyway. Being a P.A. often entails some extra-business duties, but being Tony's P.A. was like being his secretary, administrator, HR wrangler, media relations agent, transportation and security staff manager, guard dog (all right, bitch, she was honest enough to admit she was very bitchy sometimes when chasing off Tony's one-night stands. She wasn't proud of it, but it got the message across much faster than anything else she'd tried, yes, Tony had sex with you, no, that's not the start of a relationship, if you hang about you're just setting yourself up for humiliation), nutritionist, go-fer, dresser, nurse, cosmetician, conscience, human-to-Tony interpreter, and in general, cat-herder. She was fairly sure she was the best paid P.A. in the world. She was _absolutely_ sure she was worth every penny. And she loved it. The times when she didn't hate it. Mostly she was too busy to think about it.

One day Tony sent her to search for something he _absolutely_ had to have now (he really, really didn't), which he thought was possibly in the basement. The basement was bigger than the rest of the Malibu mansion, and mostly filled with crates marked things like 'Seraphim Tactical Satellite, Mark 1', 'S.F. Anderson to Asimov, signed first editions', 'Ski clothes' and 'Semi-Permiable Membranes, Exp. 1-125'. And that was only the 'S' group. The gadget he wanted wasn't in a crate, he insisted, he was sure he remembered putting it in a box marked 'Torsion bar tool- JD43 suspension setting links (1973 Jaguar Serril E type)'. So she wriggled behind the 'T' crates to the narrow aisle along the 'T' shelves and began hunting half-heartedly around. With any luck, Tony would decide in the next five minutes to work on something else and call down to tell her to give up on the search.

She had her hand on a box a minute later when he called. "Hey, Pep? I found it in the garage. In the trunk of the Jaguar."

"Of course." Pepper sighed and turned to go back when her eye caught sight of a box fallen behind the shelves. Based on the principles of Feng Shui (well, her interpretation) if she ignored it, _that_ would turn out to be the next vital piece in a Tony treasure hunt, after she'd forgot where it was. She picked up a long-handled manipulator and wriggled the box out into the open. The cardboard was an odd gray/brown/green that looked really old. She wiped the dust off the top and read 'Property H. Stark. TONY'. "Oh, Tony, I've found an old box of your father's! It has your name on it." 

There was a few second's pause before Tony asked over the intercom, "What's in it?"

Pepper broke the remnant of brittle rubber band around the box and opened it. "Looks like a diary and photo album." She was a bit excited, just a bit.

"Eh, dump it."

"Are you sure, Tony? Don't you even want to look at it first?" She knew she sounded wistful. It just seemed a shame.

"I'm sure. But hey, knock yourself out. There won't be any naked pictures of me on a bearskin, but... if you really want one, I'm sure something can be arranged."

Pepper smiled. "No thank you, Mr. Stark, but I would like to look through the box, if you really don't mind."

"My old man took photos of his inventions and his journals were always lab notes. I've got better stuff of my own. Really don't mind. Read and incinerate, or try decoupage, that was a thing. My mother did it a few times. Have fun, Potts." And then the intercom clicked off.

Pepper thought it would serve Tony right if she _did_ find something sentimental, even if it was only a note about Tony's first tooth, wedged in between experiments, so she decided to take the box home with her and look it over thoroughly at her leisure.

***

The photo album was indeed pictures of Tony as a newborn baby up until he was perhaps four years old. The photos of him as an infant were very nearly clinical. At first there was even a series of him on a scale, and on a white surface with a ruler laid beside him. Pepper reminded herself that Howard Stark had been a scientific genius, too, and he must have loved data as much as Tony. Tony had been a small, slender baby, but apparently as active then as now, judging by the blurs his arms and legs usually were in the photos. Each of the photos was numbered but there were no captions.

She stopped randomly leafing through the photo album and opened the journal. The heading made her freeze. She'd misread the box. It wasn't TONY. It was T.O.N.Y. His name was an acronym. Tesseract One Neonatal (Y-Chromosome variant). Dear God, Tony was right. The journal was lab notes on an experiment. Her hands trembled as she put the journal down. "I need a drink. A strong drink. Possibly more than one."

***

Several gin and tonics later (she didn't have the patience to mix a martini) Pepper returned to the box. If Tony was an experiment then the medical tests Tony had mentioned should be described in the journal, and she'd be able to find out what's wrong... well, what's _different_ about Tony.

Howard Stark was meticulous in his methodology, unlike Tony's random spurts of inspiration. He began by mentioning the Super-soldier program, which had succeeded once, directly before the creator died taking vital secrets of the process with him. There followed a description of the improvements made to 'the subject' and a glossed over account of the search for the body of 'the subject' which resulted in the discovery of something else. Something unique, an object which he described as a 'tesseract- a hyper-cube existing in more dimensions than humanly perceived'. Howard Stark called it the ultimate power source, and more, the ultimate 'truth'. He referred to other notebooks that he'd given to a friend once he'd reached a dead end in studying the Tesseract itself.

But this journal was about the things the Tesseract had told Howard. Pepper felt a chill run down her spine. The Tesseract told him how to build the arc reactor, which apparently functioned in a way similar to the Tesseract but in a lesser way due to... Pepper didn't understand it, and neither did Howard, much to his expressed frustration. According to Howard the Tesseract told him he was incapable of understanding it, of recreating even the fullness of the power potential, which was the smallest part of the Tesseract. 

It also told him how to create someone who would eventually be able to understand it. Howard had resisted the idea of human experimentation, but it had reminded him of the Super-soldier program, and convinced him this would be something similar, resulting in an individual whose physical makeup and... destiny?... would combine to complete Howard's life work. Howard kept making objections, this wasn't the same at all, Steve Rogers had been an adult, who had been fully informed of the risks, and chose to participate in the experiment. What the Tesseract urged was prenatal interference with an innocent.

It was like listening to a person arguing with himself. In fact, there were two different sets of handwriting. The 'Tesseract' was bolder, darker, jagged letters almost digging holes in the paper. She read on in horrified fascination as the Tesseract won the argument. It selected Maria Carbonell as the 'egg donor' and 'incubator'. At that point Pepper had to get up and go be sick for a while.

She returned, hands shaking, and resumed reading. Maria had been chosen not only for her genetic contribution, but for her high maternal instinct which the Tesseract said would compensate for the fact that Howard Stark had never intended to have children and had no paternal instincts at all. And for the fact that she was totally malleable to male influence, and could be easily persuaded to accept that Howard knew best and... oh, Pepper needed another drink, she was far too sober to be reading this. No. No, she could do this. This was long in the past, over and done with, and maybe Tony was a bit eccentric, but he was all right, even if his father had been insane, or had multiple personality disorder, which seemed the most likely explanation for the journal.

And then there was a sketch, a very detailed and scientific looking sketch, of a hummingbird, of all things. She blinked. Howard really didn't seem like a bird watcher, or a naturalist of any kind. She read the description below the sketch. _The rufous hummingbird is a small hummingbird, with the female being slightly larger than the male. The male practically glows in full sunlight- bright orange on the back and belly and has a vivid iridescent red throat. Females are green backed with rusty flanks and patches in the green tail, and often a spot of orange in the throat. Like all hummingbirds they are promiscuous, and do not form pair bonds at all. They are the most courageous North American hummingbird, relentlessly defending their possessions, whether territories, feeders, or even temporary feeding places on migration, even against hummingbirds twice their size. They are wide-ranging and breed further north than any other hummingbird._ There was an added notation in a different color ink. _Hummingbirds possess the fastest metabolism of any non-insect Earth species. This, combined with changes to the neural network will provide the subject with the ability to mentally run multiplex and complex calculations simultaneously while extrapolating theoretical avenues towards achieving practical Tesseract technology._

She put the journal down again. Tony's a hummingbird. "Tony's a hummingbird." No, saying it out loud didn't make it any more real. She decided one thing- there was no way she was ever going to tell Tony what was in the journal. Even if this was all in his head, Howard Stark had thought of Tony as an experiment. That would hurt worse than Tony's off-hand remarks about his father being 'too busy' or even 'glad when Tony went to boarding school'.

And if Howard really had been crazy, Tony would wonder if it was inheritable. Sometimes she'd joked about him being crazy, but she didn't mean it.

Once the 'experiment' began, Pepper had to flip past a lot of pages in order to keep from flinging the book across the room. Numbers began to appear after Tony was born, and the text obviously matched up with the photos. Howard had been disappointed. That was obvious.

There had been tests. Pepper skimmed really, really quickly over the details until she got to the results. Tony required a lot more calories than a normal person, but if he was exposed to cool temperatures his body temperature would fall by up to thirty degrees as he went into a metabolic 'torpor'. His heart and breathing rate would also slow along with his basal metabolism, letting him get by on much less energy. Well, that explained why Tony's bedroom was air conditioned like Antarctica any time he didn't have an overnight guest. Except for his high calorie needs there didn't seem to be any obvious health concerns.

Howard had not been pleased, though. He'd been expecting something like an infant Super-soldier, not an undersized, hyperactive, self-absorbed, _noisy_ , demanding creature who required feeding several times an hour at first. Tony didn't sleep more than four hours at a stretch until he was three years old. To make matters worse, Tony didn't speak until he was four. His first sentence was, "I need batt'ry for my circui' board." That was written at the end of the journal, with an exasperated 'about time' added after it and a brief description of the purpose of the circuit board, which was to be hooked up to a light sensing device which Tony had also created from the scraps in Howard's workshop (where Tony wasn't allowed, but he was too small and too fast to keep out) and a light bulb. In effect, he'd designed an automatic night light.

The journal ended there. Pepper wondered if Tony had got his battery.

***

So Pepper became an expert on hummingbirds. She viewed Tonyisms through hummingbird-colored lenses until she believed the journal. When Tony said, 'Gimme a Scotch, I'm starving', she looked up the caloric value of Scotch. At 70 calories per ounce (for the highest proof brands) she understood why that was his favorite. A martini was almost as good. And he never seemed to get drunk- she guessed he just processed it so fast the toxic stage was unnoticeable. For him, alcohol really was food. Hummingbirds couldn't digest alcohol, but if they could, they'd certainly take advantage of a high calorie/low volume source of energy.

He was bright and fast and flawed, annoying and adorable by turns. And he was hers in a way that no one else would ever be.

And then he was gone. Missing, captured, not even dead so she'd know he wasn't suffering. It was hot in Afghanistan, hot and dry. He'd be burning up, starving before their eyes, and they wouldn't even know.

***

"Tony, you need to go to the hospital." Pepper said the moment Tony got into the limo and immediately refused to be sensible. She didn't know how he'd survived, and at this moment she didn't really care. She just wanted to make sure he really was all right. And then he insisted on cheeseburgers and she knew he'd be fine. 

In the car she'd tried to help him with the food, since his arm was still in the sling, and she'd seen the light in his chest when his shirt briefly opened. It was... horrible, and alien, and... familiar. "Tony," she whispered. "Is that..."

"Oh. Yeah. Button me up, Pep?" He looked at her with those bright, pleading eyes, and of course she did what he asked. He said, too softly for Happy to overhear. "Miniaturized, using recycled Stark weapons in a freezing cave. Dad would have been so proud." Tony grimaced and bit into another burger. Pepper was quiet, remembering the journal. Howard would have been proud... but of himself, not Tony. And Obi had been Howard's partner. This was what he'd been waiting for all these years. She'd have to keep a closer eye on Tony. Obi would be pressuring him even more.

 

And then Tony did a direction reversal any hummingbird would be proud of and told the world, and Obi, never forget Obi, that S.I. was out of the weapons manufacturing line. Tony breezed past her and was gone, leaving her mind in a whirl. She barely noticed the reporters and the government agent at her side. Oh, Tony, barely out of one cage, and he was flying into trouble again.

 

When she saw him in the suit the first time it made her heart sink. Now that he could fight and fly he certainly would. He never had any fear of heights or even the slightest bit of sense about falling. She totally failed to find any usable information on domesticating hummingbirds. They were intelligent, and could form attachments to people, but you really, really couldn't put them in a cage. She looked at the dents in his shiny, shiny red and gold suit, and all she saw were fallen feathers.

***

And then she killed Obi and nearly killed Tony. She tried not to think about Obi and focus instead on Tony being alive and well. Things would be better now. Tony was going to fly and fight to reclaim his possessions, but the U.S. Air Force wouldn't be shooting at him, and sooner or later he'd catch up on all the mislaid inventory- how much could there be? People didn't buy munitions to decorate their playrooms- a lot of it must already be used up. And then Tony could return to being a promiscuous, migratory nectar seeker with Pepper ready to chase off anyone who tried to clip his wings. Sure. Everything would be fine.

***

Pepper was mad at the whole world. Tony NEVER got drunk. She could not imagine how he'd managed that. Maybe something he ate? She was furious at Howard for not leaving a care and feeding manual with Tony. She was angry at Rhodey for indulging Tony's enthusiasm for fighting and WRECKING the WHOLE house. She still remembered what a pain it had been finding contractors able to meet Tony's ridiculous specifications for repairing the damage done by his reckless Iron Man experiments. This... this was a total disaster. On top of the wrecked house, and the horrible publicity, and the lawyers no doubt lined up to complain about injuries caused by drunk guests falling when running away from the mayhem, she had to take on the U.S. AIR FORCE to at least make sure they didn't reverse-engineer the suit that Rhodey got away with.

AND she had to make sure Tony's ego-fest Exposition went well, and... just everything. Natalie was remarkably efficient and helpful, and explained that she hadn't been flirting with Mr. Stark, she just thought he'd been depressed lately, and she was trying to cheer him up for his birthday. Pepper had to admit that was true, and if it was just that Natalie was ambitious, well, Natalie would do better working as Pepper's P.A. than Tony's. Maybe you couldn't tame a hummingbird, but you could decide what flowers were in his garden.

Tony showed up to make noises that didn't sound like an apology, or anything else sensible, and she just DID NOT have time. Maybe he had mixed-up instincts, but he did not have to make life so HARD for her and there was no way she could explain it to get through to his damn bird-brain!

***

Hammer was unbelievable. She wondered if his parents had played with bird genes, only in his case, maybe they'd crossed with a domestic turkey. One of those fat-assed white birds that had all the intelligence bred out of them. He strutted like a turkey, and gobbled like one. She didn't like the look of his display, robots based on guesswork from seeing Iron Man in action. Tony wasn't going to like it, either. Who had given Hammer a slot, anyway? Heads were going to roll.

And then. Of course. Tony had to fly in, colors blazing, to defend his territory. In this case, though-- Hammer, and Rhodey in the stolen suit, dancing in Tony's Expo? Yeah, she was pretty hot under the collar about that too.

And then everything went to hell. Hammer was _lucky_ Natalie, who turned out to be some sort of enforcement agent, took him down, because Pepper would have nailed him with a spike heel in the gonads. She was _sick_ of being CEO for a company that got involved with homicidal lunatics on a regular basis.

"YOU'RE DYING?" Pepper couldn't believe it. Tony thought he could hand her his company and she wouldn't _notice_ when he died? She was _so_ going to demand that he sit still long enough to tell her what happened, and how it was fixed, and make sure it was NEVER going to happen again. How could she live without Tony to bitch at and care for and protect from the world, and laugh at him, and smile when he's being ridiculous and go all warm and hot and bothered when he's working and all grace and power and pure masculine hotness... oh, God, she doesn't think of him as a pet, or a child and those are not loyal employee or even motherly feelings. She was so doomed. She'd kept her hair red so Tony's instinct would make him pay attention to her, but she'd forgot that he didn't have to do anything but be himself to keep her eyes on him as he glittered around her.

She stumbled outside of the pavilion, and did her best to make sure everyone was being taken care of. There was a smashed robot in front of her. Everything was overturned and nothing made sense.

The robot started... doing something. Pepper stared at it curiously. 

And then Iron Man landed in front of her, grabbed her and launched. There were explosions, bright lights, cool metal arms holding her as they raced through the night, chased by death. They landed on a roof and Tony ditched his helmet. He was wide-eyed and jittery, bruised and battered and, oh, so very bright. And so infuriating. She shouted at him. He was defensive. And then they were kissing. And she wasn't wearing green. And it wasn't weird. It really wasn't.

Maybe she'd go back to blonde. She didn't think she needed to attract Tony's attention any longer.


	2. Still Humming Along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony likes green people. Hulk likes pretty birdies. Pepper likes people who save Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ a HUMMINGBIRD SNORING.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pj5huCuhD_Q#t=20) (actually it's gradually waking up from normal torpor and is drawing extra oxygen to help the process, totally harmless & healthy but it's CUTE.)

Pepper recognized that their relationship was co-dependent, but she couldn't see any better alternatives. Tony'd been self-destructive on an epic scale before they got together, and her P.A. duties had expanded over the years to the point her life revolved around him. She really didn't have anyone else either. Who could they trust in their social circle? Better to be codependent than betrayed.

They tried to be good to each other within their little universe. Tony flirted and displayed his colors for other people, but he stayed faithful to her even after she returned to blonde and never wore green.

In return she tried to encourage him to spread his wings even when it seemed risky.

"You've got a lot of homework," was all she said when Tony opened up the files on the Avenger Initiative, but her heart sank when she recognized the Tesseract. She'd never told Tony about his father's experiments, and now wasn't the time to distract him. SHIELD would hardly let Tony play with it so really, that was the least of her worries. She did burn to know how the thing had got loose, though. In his journal Howard had vaguely mentioned it being 'in storage', but she'd found no record of it in S.I.'s extensive data banks. She'd assumed it was like the Lost Ark in Indiana Jones, forgotten in a dusty warehouse.

They needed to have some separation in their lives, and she really should be in Washington to keep Senator Stern from blocking S.I.'s green energy program. He was a vindictive bastard and had a lot more power on the Hill than met the eye. So she made Tony a whispered promise (which was not quite as salacious as Phil assumed. Like all hummingbirds, Tony loved a misting shower, and he particularly loved it when she took the time to share one with him) and then went down in the elevator with Phil to try to pump him on information about the Tesseract.

He didn't say much, and she couldn't be too nosy, but she got the general impression SHIELD thought of the Tesseract as an object, a powerful, dangerous artifact. There wasn't any way she could warn him about its self-aware and manipulative nature without revealing Tony's secret. If she ever told anyone, it would be Tony.

She really should tell Tony. He was stronger now, emotionally. She'd been putting it off because it was going to be hard, but he had a right to know. Yes, once she returned from Washington, she'd tell him. She'd take the journal and everything else out of her safe deposit and show him.

***

Dear God, she left Tony for one day! One day and New York City was in ruins, attacked by aliens, of all things. Where was he? Oh, God, he'd be right at the front, wouldn't he? Defending his patch of flowers from the universe. She automatically said what were probably the appropriate things to the S.I. employees sharing the executive jet and stayed perfectly calm when they landed in the confusion at LaGuardia.

She didn't break down until she saw the big screen TV in the airport, and there was Tony, a broken bird falling from the sky. The huge green...person... caught him, but the cameras were far away and she couldn't see what happened after that. She tried to call Tony, and found that he'd tried to call her right around the time he took a tactical nuke on his shoulders. God, if he could do that, she could damn well get to him.

She called up the local S.I. list, scrolling down to find their airport crew. "This is Ms. Potts. I need a helicopter to take me to the Tower." She listened a moment. "Fine, we'll take the East River VFR corridor. Have a car waiting for me at the East 34th street heliport." Pepper wasn't on scene, she'd have to take their word for it that it was unfeasible to fly directly to the Tower, but if she found out later they were just being cautious without due cause, she'd... she didn't know what she'd do. She suddenly wished she'd let Tony give her a suit of her own.

***

The driver suggested they take the smallest car on the lot, and she'd agreed. Few traffic lights worked, and so many roads were blocked by rubble or gigantic alien corpses that even the small car had to make a lot of detours. When they finally reached the Tower she was glad to see the automatic garage gates opening in response to her signal. "We still have power." 

"Yes, Ms. Potts," the driver said. "That's lucky, isn't it?"

She bit back a laugh, thinking how Tony would react to doubts of the arc reactor, for fear she wouldn't stop. "Yes. Yes, it is." She got out of the car. "Can you stay here? I might need a ride, later." She didn't know where Tony was, whether he was in a hospital or... if there was power she could get to the penthouse and ask Jarvis. "Oh! Do you have family? I mean, someone you need to check up on?"

"I'm good. They live in Jersey," he replied. "I'll stay with the car. You just do what you have to do." He looked sympathetic.

Pepper hadn't said much, but it was hardly a secret in S.I. that she and Tony were together. "Thanks."

 

The elevator doors opened and Pepper looked out cautiously. "Tony? Jarvis?" 

"Please watch your step, Ms. Potts," Tower-Jarvis replied. 

Pepper blinked at the cratered travertine floor. "Where's Tony?" She kicked off her Louboutin's and walked around the debris, wondering what had happened. One of the windows was gone as well, but there was very little glass inside.

"Sir is in the master bedroom."

"Did he eat? Is he all right?" Pepper hurried to the bedroom. It wasn't cold enough with the window shattered, he could be running metabolic deficit, especially after all the flying and fighting.

"Oh. My." Pepper slid to a halt just outside the bedroom door, or rather, what used to be the bedroom door. The door, the frame, and a fair bit of the surrounding wall, was gone. She noticed that as an afterthought, because the huge green man sitting on the floor with Tony sprawled across his lap took up most of her attention.

"SHHH," the green man said, holding one finger up to his mouth. "Pretty birdie asleep!"

"Oh." Somehow the creature had recognized Tony's nature. Or maybe he just was describing the Iron Man flying? "You caught Tony. Thank you, Mr. um, I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced. I'm Pepper Potts." She decided not to go for complicated explanations. "I take care of Tony." She edged into the room, cautiously.

"Hulk take care of pretty birdie!" The big green arms moved to cuddle Tony closer.

"Yes, yes I can see you do. But Tony doesn't usually sleep during the day. He needs to eat." Pepper inched in further.

"Ate shawarma." Big green eyes watched her warily but the green man made no threatening move.

"That's good." Pepper had no idea what shawarma was. Bracing herself, she touched the green man's arm. "Oh! You're cold."

"Birdie was hot." Green shoulders shrugged. "Hulk make cold for birdie."

"Thank you. You... you're really an amazing person." 

Hulk grinned at her, showing a lot of big, square teeth. Maybe he was a vegetarian. "Hulk knows."

Up close, Pepper could see that Tony was shivering. She leaned in to listen. Yes, he was making that little whistling snore she found adorable. "He's waking up. I need to make something for him to eat. Do you want anything, Mr. Hulk?"

"CAKE! Hulk like CAKE."

"I'll find some cake." Pepper patted Hulk on the arm. "It's very nice to meet you." 

 

Pepper returned with a sugary sweet protein shake for Tony, and a box of doughnuts for Hulk. Cooking wasn't her strong suit, even though she was better than Tony. Tony was still whistle-snoring. Hulk was delicately petting Tony's hair, ruffling it back and forth. "Pretty birdie," he said again. There didn't appear to be anything sexual meant, thank God. "We like pretty birdie."

"We?" Pepper asked, as she opened the box of doughnuts and put it down next to Hulk.

Hulk sniffed at the doughnuts, then grabbed the entire dozen in his fist and ate them. He said, scattering crumbs everywhere, "Other ME. Other me puny. Hulk strong! Hulk protect!"

"Yes, I can see that," Pepper said. She pulled a pillow off the bed and sat on it, on the floor. She was shaking now as reaction set in. Tony was alive, he'd be all right. She just had to wait for him to wake up, and then give him his shake and everything would be all right. She put the shake down because she was afraid it would spill.

Hulk lowered his head to peer at her. "Pepper pretty, too. Afraid of Hulk?" He actually sounded hurt.

"No. I'm just... cold." And it was true, she was fresh out of fear at the moment, and Hulk was actually reassuring. If any of those horrible alien things were around, Hulk would be more than a match for them. 

Hulk reached a long arm out to the bed, pulled off the duvet and dropped it on her head. "Pepper get warm."

"Thank you, Hulk." Pepper arranged the duvet like an oversized shawl. "So, how do you like New York City?" she asked, in a attempt at small talk.

Hulk's brows tightened in thought. "Like?"

"Oh. I guess you didn't get a chance to see the sights." Maybe she was a little lightheaded. 

"Hulk come to fight, not... sightsee." He frowned again. "Last time Hulk fight, Hulk break Harlem. Other Me feel bad."

Pepper leaned closer to pat Hulk's knee. Definitely she was lightheaded. "I heard about that. Someone else was breaking Harlem and you stopped him. You're a hero, Hulk."

"Hero?" Hulk snorted. The force of his chest moving stirred Tony, who opened his eyes and blinked.

"Hey, Tony," Pepper said softly, to get his attention. "Drink this." She had put a straw in the shake, but she still had to wave the glass in front of him for a few seconds before he got the idea.

Hulk resumed petting Tony's hair while he drank. Tony looked confused, but then it always took him a few minutes to get up to speed from torpor. He tilted his head back to look at Hulk. "Huh," Tony said. "You're... really big. And really green." His head wobbled around until he was looking at Pepper. "Hey. Pep. I... I made the team!" He grinned at her. "It was fun." He slurped up more of the shake. "Zoom! Fireworks!" He leaned back against Hulk. "Big green is nice. I like him."

Pepper resisted the urge to giggle. "Yes, he is. He's very nice."

Hulk's cheeks turned a lighter shade of green and he ducked his head. "Hulk tired now," he said. And then he shrank and paled, until Tony was sprawled across a curly-haired naked guy, as Hulk's trousers fell off of him.

Tony flailed for a moment and then he turned his head to look at the man. "Oh. Hey, this is Bruce. Bruce Banner. I want him to have my science babies." Tony patted at Banner's arm. "He makes sense! But he's shy, so we have to be very, very...um... very? With him? Yes?" Tony looked at Pepper. "We're keeping him, right?"

Pepper sighed and got up to tug on Tony's arm. "You don't just go around adopting grown people, Tony."

"Why not? You'll like him, Pepper." Tony made it to sitting on the bed. "He speaks English! And he turns into a giant green rage monster, which is just, so, so cool."

"Yes, I know. I met Hulk." Pepper sat next to Tony to get a better look at his various cuts and scrapes, which he was ignoring, as usual. "He's a very nice rage monster. He cuddled you." Pepper wondered if Bruce knew what Hulk had recognized. Until she found out she really did need to keep him close. "Maybe Bruce would like to stay. I don't mind. He's cute."

Tony nodded. "Yes!" Then he blinked. "Wait. Cute?"

"I think it's the hair," Pepper said. Tony was coming into focus. 

Tony leaned down to look at Bruce. "He does have cute hair." He got his arms under Bruce's shoulders. "Get his feet. We'll put him on the bed. Two transformations in one day must really wipe him out."

"Two?" Pepper said as she helped Tony get Bruce onto the bed, and then covered him in the duvet she didn't need any longer.

"Yeah, after the fighting, we got Bruce back and found a shawarma joint. Then the rest of the guys went with Fury, but I didn't trust them with Bruce. They had a cage for him. So we came back here." While he talked, Tony was smoothing the duvet over Bruce. "I was ... I wanted to play with Hulk. You know, for science, but not in a mean way." Tony frowned. "He's so green! I mean, why should he be green? Does he get like micro-algae in his skin? Is it like a weird un-tan? Is Hulk part plant and full of chlorophyll so he can use sunlight for energy directly?"

"So, you like Hulk because he's green." 

"That... that's an oversimplification! Green is only part of Hulk's awesome. The icing on the Hulk cake."

"So, you like Hulk because he's green," Pepper repeated and smirked.

Tony gave her a scowl. "Anyway! Bruce agreed to green up. I think. I don't know. It's a bit hazy. I forgot to take notes." Tony went over to Pepper and bent until his head was resting on her chest. "Long day, Pep."

"I know." Pepper stroked Tony's hair. "I like Hulk, too, Tony."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter is based on [ this Prompt](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/20598.html?thread=50916982#t50916982) and I also used input from comments on the first chapter. Thanks to all my commenters!
> 
> There might be more in which Bruce and Pepper and Tony grow close. If it happens & stays gen I'll tack it on as a third chapter. If it becomes a higher rating I will probably put it as a 'related work' rather than a series, because a series will include all the ratings & it seems a pity to have a gen work classed as not gen.


	3. Bruce hems and haws.

Pepper took a deep breath. "We need to talk."

Tony's head jerked up, and his eyes went wide and panicky. "What? No, no, no, not the 'we need to talk' speech."

"It's not _that._ I just... I need to tell you something." Pepper took another deep breath.

Tony's eyes went even rounder. "Are you pregnant?"

"No!"

"Are you sick? Did you get sick from me? The palladium, it was still in my system, wasn't it?"

"Tony." Pepper held her temper. "It's not about me."

"I know, it's not you, it's me... wait, it usually goes the other way around, doesn't it?"

Pepper laid her fingers across Tony's mouth. "I'm fine, you're fine, our relationship is fine, and I'm not mad at you for saving the world." Tony licked her fingers and she yelped and drew her hand back, instinctively.

"So, what is it?" he asked.

"I've kept a secret from you for years. I thought I was doing the right thing, protecting you, but even if it hurts, you have a right to know. Your father had the Tesseract."

"Yeah? I know, there were a few sketches and rough notes about it in the stuff Fury dumped on me last year. Oh. Yeah." Tony's eyes narrowed. "So, those weapons were probably based on dad's work."

"Weapons?"

"That's right, you weren't on the helicarrier, you don't know about the cute little death ray guns SHIELD is developing. So, if it's not that..."

"Stop. Tony, just... for a minute, stop speculating, and let me _TELL_ you."

"Ok! Tell me!"

"Your father was under the Tesseract's influence."

Tony went completely still.

"It manipulated him. Tony, he didn't want to do it. He fought it, he really did."

"What? What did it make him do, Pepper?"

"It told him how to build the Arc Reactor. He couldn't make it practical because it was based on the Tesseract and he was incapable of understanding it, no one could. So it told him how to make someone who could." Tony was unmoving, still for the longest time she could ever remember. "I found his notes. His journal." Tony was silent. "I _asked_ if you wanted to see it, but you said you weren't interested!"

"Pepper!"

"I know, I know, it was wrong! But at first, I just thought Howard was crazy. And then later, I figured it didn't matter. It doesn't matter, you're you, Tony Stark and there's nothing wrong with you!"

"What did he _do_ , Pepper?" 

"I didn't understand most of it, but part of it... you have gene sequences taken from Selasphorus rufus incorporated into your DNA. It makes you think faster, makes your metabolism faster. It's why you need to eat so often, and sleep in cool rooms."

"I need to see those notes. The journal." Tony backed a few steps away. "What's Selasphorus rufus, anyway? I never learned Latin."

"The Rufous Hummingbird." Pepper thought Tony was taking this too calmly. "It's the most skillful flier of all the hummingbirds."

"Huh. You studied up on that, didn't you?" Tony moved a little further away.

"Tony."

"I... I have to think about this. Do you still have the notes? The journal?"

"Yes. I'll get them when the bank opens." If it opened. Considering the state of the city, that didn't seem likely.

"One question, Pepper. Why now? Why tell me now?"

"I saw the Tesseract in the files Phil gave you and I wanted to warn you about it. I thought... I thought there would be time once I got back from Washington." 

Tony winced. "Ah. About Phil."

"What?"

"He... didn't make it. Loki killed him." 

"Oh." Pepper pressed her hand against her mouth. She'd known that people had died, of course they had, but all she was thinking of was Tony. She didn't even think of Phil. She felt tears welling up, and tried to brush them away. She'd liked Phil, but they hadn't been that close. She had held it together so well, but this was just too much. She sniffed and the tears flowed faster, hot and making her eyes hurt. Tony came back and put his arms around her. He smelled terrible. She hugged him tight. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am... I'm so bad, I'm just thinking that I'm glad it wasn't you, Tony." She leaned against him. "That's terribly selfish, isn't it?"

"Um, sorry to interrupt, but..."

Pepper and Tony turned. Bruce was sitting up in bed, with the duvet pulled up to cover himself. "I thought you should know you weren't alone." Bruce ran his hand through his hair and looked sheepish.

"We were just talking," Pepper said.

"Yeah. I heard."

"What did you hear?" Tony asked.

"Um. I'm not sure. I wasn't really awake."

"Bruce," Tony said.

"All right, fine. I heard about your father, and... you know, yeah, I don't think scientists ought to be fathers. I wouldn't tell anyone, even if I could. You aren't a menace, not like me." Bruce gestured at the ruined doorframe. "Maybe you should rethink your offer of hospitality."

"I spoke to Hulk," Pepper said. "He broke the door in order to help Tony. I'm not afraid of him, Bruce. He's not an animal. He can talk."

"Yeah. 'Smash'." 

"He likes cake." Pepper took a breath, and decided to continue. "He likes pretty birdies. Hulk knew about Tony and wanted to protect him."

"So, that's why you told me," Tony said. "You thought Bruce already knew and you wanted to be first to share the glad tidings."

"No! I mean, yes, I thought Bruce might know, but I'd already made up my mind to tell you once I saw the Tesseract! I know you! You'll go fiddling around with it, and it isn't just a powerful tool. It _manipulated_ your father. You can't go near it!"

"I'll be careful!"

"No, you WON'T!" Pepper glared at Tony. "You're never careful!"

Bruce cleared his throat. "Er, I could go in the next room."

"STAY!" Pepper snapped, pointing a finger at him. "I need you to talk some sense into Tony."

"Bruce understands! The Tesseract is too powerful NOT to study it."

Bruce hitched up the duvet tighter around himself. "Can I just stay out of this?"

"NO!" Pepper and Tony said together.

"Fine." Bruce sighed. "I agree with both of you. If the Tesseract is self-willed as well as powerful, then locking it up in Asgard's trophy room isn't the answer. It may not have been stolen, it might have escaped. Thor didn't strike me as someone easily persuaded though, so he won't give it up, and really, could any of us stop him? It _should_ be studied, but only under careful supervision with an outside observer who could note behavioral changes and stop any Tesseract induced experiments. It's not going to happen. Thor's going to take it home and frankly, that's better than letting SHIELD have it if they've already been making weapons from it." He shrugged. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to borrow some pants."

"We're being terrible hosts, Tony." Pepper went to Tony's walk-in closet. "You're about Tony's size. I think you'd look good in blue." She held a suit jacket up to Bruce's face. "Too dark." 

"Um. Anything, you know. I'm not fussy."

"No, Pepper's right. You're cute and you deserve to be well-dressed." Tony joined Pepper at the closet.

"Cute?" Bruce's voice rose an octave.

"Yeah, Pepper and I agree, you're adorable, Brucie. This one!" Tony grabbed a peach colored jacket. 

"No, Tony." Pepper pulled out a blue jacket with gray pin-striping. "This?"

"Yeah, ok, but jazz it up a little." Tony held up a deep purple silk shirt. "You get a tie. I'll find the socks and underwear. Bruce, boxers or briefs?" He grinned at Bruce. "Or are you a thong man?" 

"I really..." Bruce shut up when they shoved the clothes at him. "I just need pants," he protested.

Pepper looped a silvery tie with tiny purple dots around his neck. "Are you hungry? Hulk had donuts, but I could make scrambled eggs and coffee."

"I... yes, I could eat." Bruce blinked. "You guys really are pushy, you know?"

"Uh huh," Tony said while rummaging through a drawer. "You're not allergic to silk, are you?"

Pepper left the room, feeling confident that Tony would keep Bruce from running away before he'd had a chance to think things over. If he still wanted to run, all right, but the more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea of keeping Bruce. He was really adorable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really, I keep thinking this is complete. So I'm marking it complete, but it may possibly get more.

**Author's Note:**

> (Prior to this, I've turned Tony into a rat, a cat, a birdman, a bearded collieman, a honey badger, a guinea pig and a dragon... so... this prompt appealed to me.)
> 
> The full prompt:[ Gen, Tony's a hummingbird](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/11264.html?thread=26338048#t26338048)
> 
>  
> 
> _Tony's binging on alcohol (and superhuman liver), the manic creativity, his ridiculously quick thought processes and reflexes, the initial obsession with hovering in place while developing the suit - even the coloration of the Iron Man (ruby-throated hummingbird, anyone?) - Tony is trying to deal with his instincts as a hummingbird, only trying to express them in human terms._
> 
> As requested- my other Tony animalized fic. In many of these stories, other people are animalized as well.
> 
>  
> 
> ['Tony Gives a Dam' ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2144967)has Tony as a beaver  
> ['Winging It' ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/375826)has Tony as a bird-man, and a bearded collie-man.  
> ['Ferrous Feline' ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1169518)has Tony as part-cat.  
> ['The Cat's Whiskers'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/972327) has Tony as a cat turned human- with cat ears and tails and cattitude.  
> ['Avengrrrs'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/482216) has Tony as a kitten.  
> ['Out of the Bag'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/460790) has Tony as a transgenic cat man.  
> ['Horsing Around'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4287861) has Tony as a centaur.  
> ['Turning over a New Claw'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/548230) has Tony as a dragon.  
> ['Scale Wages'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/386283) has Tony as a dragon.  
> ['Betta Than Ever'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1120246)has Tony as a fish. (A Siamese Fighting fish)  
> ['Care Tactics'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/544400) has Tony as a guinea pig.  
> ['Howling Commando'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/466350) has Tony as a honey badger (part time).  
> ['Night and Day'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1136576) has Tony as a horse.  
> ['Iron Fin'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3774313) has Tony as a merman.  
> ['Every Bunny Needs Some Bunny'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1033545) has Tony as a rabbit  
> ['When You're Real'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3066416) has Tony as a rabbit.  
> ['Rattled'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/381287) has Tony as a rat.  
> ['A Bit Fishy'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/999682) has Tony as a shark  
> ['The Sign in the Pillows'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/791152) has Tony as Mr. Toad.  
> ['A Single-Horned Dilemma'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/539210) has Tony as a unicorn.  
> ['When The Fur Flies'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1017128) has Tony as a werewolf  
> ['Cut Your Wolf Loose'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3917239) has Tony as a werewolf.  
> ['Shaggy'](http://archiveofourown.org/works/922192) has Tony as a baby werewolf.


End file.
